INTERNATIONAL TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY

Avast me hearties! It’s Talk Like Pirate Day!
 
 
Ahoy there all ye stout lads and saucy lasses!  This be Captain Larboard Slushbucket, ye trusty advisor in all matters piratical.  As ye well know, September 19th be International Talk Like a Pirate Day and it’s my aim herein to put ye on course for some proper piratical discourse so drop ye anchor for a gam [chat] and I’ll fill you to the gunn’ls with some salty terminology.
 
First off we’ll get underway with getting’ yer bearin’s.  Never say “left” or “right.”  That’s lubberly talk and ye best clap a stopper on it and stow it below.  It’s always “port” and “starboard” and ye’ve got me starboard flipper [right hand] on that. Avast [stop!] saying “front” and “back.”  It should always be “fore” and “aft.”  When a pirate goes upstairs he “lays aloft” and when he comes back down he “goes below.”  The bathroom’s the “head” and the kitchen’s the “galley.”  If you like a wench’s looks, ye could say ye like “the cut of her jib.”
 
On this special day, I’d advise making liberal use of ye Pyrate’s Alphabet.  Having only two letters, it doesn’t take long to learn:  “Aye!” and “Ahhrrr!”  Whenever anyone says something ye like or agree with just bellow out, “AYE!”  And when they say anything ye disagree with, don’t like or don’t understand, or to which ye can’t think of a fitting response, just yell, “AAAHHHRRRR!”
 
YOUR BOSS:  “Great weather we’re having isn’t it?
YOU: “AYE, CAP’M!”
 
YOUR BOSS:  “So I was thinking you wouldn’t mind taking out the trash and sweeping the parking lot.”
YOU:  “AAHHHRRRR!”
 
Here are a few other expressions to throw around when you’re practicing piracy:
 
Fire a shot across his bow = give him a warning
He slipped his cable = he died
There’s rocks to yer lee = you’re heading for trouble
Sun’s over the yardarm = it’s cocktail hour and time to...
Splice the mainbrace = have a drink of...
Grog = booze (usually a mixture of rum, water & lime juice)
Spin me a yarn = tell me a story
There’s the devil to pay and no pitch hot = we’re in a tough situation
Scuttlebutt = rumor
By the wind = broke, penniless
Shipshape and Bristol fashion = tidy and neat
Making heavy weather = exaggerating the difficulty of a job
Round the buoy = take a second helping at meals
Sojering =  shirking when work is to be done
Lash up = temporary or sloppy job
Half shot or half seas under = nearly drunk
Three sheets to the wind = totally drunk
Shot in the locker = money left over after an evening’s carouse.
 
 
Fair winds to ye now, and smooth sailing on September 19th!